凱薩琳隨筆Catherine's Ramble~

The weather of today is not very good. Visibility is very poor and you can hardly see anything around.

In this weather, I couldn't really do anything.

People said that I get extra holiday today with smile. In fact, many people in Taiwan said that I am here to relax instead of working.

Well, I do not deny that.

To be honest, working here is not as tiring as working in Taiwan.

However, life in Matzu is not as entertaining and colorful as in Taipei.

There is nothing much you can do apart from watching TV, reading books or surfing internet.

Well maybe you could go to the sight spot to see something different from Taipei.

After you go back to your room, you start to feel loneliness.

No one can talk and nothing to do.


Under this circumstance, I start to think a lot.

Thinking about the past, thinking about what I really want.

I have been thinking about some important decision that I made.

These decisions were thought to be right but I am not so sure now.

Then I start thinking of  is there anything I can do?

The more thinking I am doing the more melancholy I am feeling.

I guess the weather also contribute to my depression.

Who would not be depressive in this gloomy weather?

I am talking about weather a lot recently.

My emotion begins to fluctuate not as stable as before.

I loathe that my emotion can not be controlled and negative thoughts in my head.

The realization of decision/ mistakes that I made in the past can not be made up even makes me feeling worse.

Sorry I am whining again....

Well I guess I am lucky that I have time to whine....but all of you have to understand that I do not like whining.

I am whining because I feel a bit lost....

I feel I lost my life goal.

I feel depressive about the goal I want to achieve but have difficulties to accomplish.


Hope tomorrow will be a better day!